The Brooklynese Guy

The Brooklynese Guy is the most powerful entity in all of Mazendaria, second to Charlie, The Thirty (Forty) Year Old British Man Sitting By A Fire Smoking A Pipe, and can surpass even Charlie in Brooklyn Rage mode. He spends his days genuinely attempting to assist people, always following up with his favorite line, "Ya'welcome!" He has been labeled as a menace by all Earthly mortals with whom he has come into contact. Any who attempt to slay the Brooklynese Guy will soon discover that he is near-invincible, always respawning if situation causes his life to "end." He is currently in a relationship with the British Anarchist.

Physical Description
The physical appearance of the Brooklynese Guy has been argued over across the ages. Some claim that he is half-black, wearing a baseball cap. Others have imagined him as homeless, sporting a suit jacket and always smiling in a bright, ridiculous manner. Some state that he wears a pinstripped fedora, where as others have seen him showing his full head of anime-style hair. In reality, the Brooklynese Guy is a combination of all four descriptions, sometimes appearing as more of one than another. The Brooklynese Guy is decently tall and lanky, and always has a smile on his face! Joker himself has said, whilest eating his lasagna, "*lip smack* *lip smack* If I could smile like the Brooklynese Guy, I might stop eating my lasagna before the red eye flashes twice. *lip smack*" His physical prowess allows him to more easily help people, especially when doing cumbersome tasks, such as breaking someone's arm backward at the elbow or tearing down a bridge in the middle of New York.

Touching Your Toes
"Hey, Kid! Come over here! I wanna show you somethin'."

"Yeah? What is it?"

-*grabs the kid and breaks his back forward*-

"Look! Now you can touch your toes. Ya'welcome."

Scratching Your Back
"Hey, Kid! Come over here! I wanna show you somethin'."

"What is it, Mister?"

-*grabs the kid's arm and breaks it backwards at the elbow*-

"Look! Now you can scratch your back. Ya'welcome."

Being Houdini
"Hey, Kid! Come over here! I wanna show you somethin'."

"Yeah?"

-*dislocates the kid's shoulder*-

"Look! You're Houdini! Ya'welcome."

(This is one of the Brooklynese Guy's personal favorites.)

Red Eyes
"Hey, Kid! Come over here! I wanna show you somethin'."

"*sigh* What is it?"

"I heard you were lookin' for your friend. Red Eyes, kill 'em both. Ya'welcome."

Smelly Pickles
"Ah, man, this stench is awful!"

"Hey, Kid! Come over here! I wanna show you somethin'."

"*sniff* What is it?"

-*shatters kid's nose*-

"Now you don't have to smell it anymore. Ya'welcome."

What To Get Your Girlfriend
-* kid is walking down the street looking stressed*-

"Hey, Kid! What's the matter?"

"I don't know what to get my girlfriend for Valentine's Day."

"She that one, over there?"

"Yeah."

-*pulls out a gun and kills the girlfriend*-

"Now you don't have to worry about it anymore! Ya'welcome."

 Relationships

The British Anarchist -
The Brooklynese guy first met the British Anarchist beneath what was once a bridge in New York. The British Anarchist had been causing public disturbance in the area, near the state capital, and a firing squad was seconds away from silencing her anarchist teachings forever. Seeing her attop the bridge, the Brooklynese Guy immediately decided to help her go swimming in the poluted, toxic water of the Hudson River. He yanked on the foundation holding up the bridge, and caused the whole middle section of the structure to come crashing down, Anarchist in tow. Before the Brooklynese Guy could even utter "Ya'welcome!," the British Anarchist exclaimed, "Thank you for saving me from those &^%$# government agents, Sir!" The Brooklynese guy was astounded. This was the first time he had been thanked. He pondered on this, then nonchalantly replied, "Ya'welcome." Such was born a beautiful romance. (See: The Jedi Upanishads, Passage II)